The first step towards self-fulfillment is loving yourself. It’s written everywhere, everyone says it, always. Yet we don’t always follow this teaching. Also because we don’t always know how to do it. After all, they don’t teach us that at school, right?! (Too bad: they should!).
To start loving yourself, it is first necessary to start deeply respecting yourself. Self-love is not narcissistic, it does not mean considering yourself the most beautiful, talented and intelligent of all. Loving yourself means being aware of your own worth and letting that awareness guide you in all of life’s choices.
Here are 5 suggestions to start or continue loving yourself more and more.
1. Honor your desires
You don’t have to sacrifice all your dreams because you made certain choices. If, for whatever reason, you haven’t been able to fulfill a lifelong dream, look for new ones!
There are so many things you can still do. There are endless dreams you can still fulfill. Start by writing your wish list. What do you want to achieve in the next 5 years?
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
Yes, I know: it’s not the first time you’ve heard this… but are you sure you’re not comparing your life or your results to someone else’s? Really really sure?!
Remember that if you compare yourself to the people around you, you are doing yourself a disservice. Instead, become inwardly indifferent to the lives of others and learn to focus on yourself.
Where do YOU want to get in life?
What are YOU doing to achieve your goals?
3. Enough with self-pity
“Self-pity is one of the most destructive non-pharmaceutical narcotics” (J. W. Gardner)
Complaining is useless, it has never been useful and it never will be. So start eliminating expressions like “everything happens to me”, “I’m so unlucky”, “I only attract hopeless cases”, “nothing ever goes right for me” and the like. If you keep feeding this type of inner dialogue, that is exactly the life you will create for yourself (by the way, I suggest you take a look here: The superpower of inner dialogue).
4. Don’t care about judgments
If they think you’re crazy, reckless, indecisive, foolish, inconsistent, insecure, shy, inappropriate, unconventional, overweight, too thin or that you’re doing something wrong with your children, in love, in your professional choices, well don’t care!
Any advice (from those who love you, of course) is welcome, but at the end of the day, only you know what makes you happy and what makes you feel good. So, make your decisions with serenity and, as long as those choices do not negatively affect others, educate yourself and learn not to be emotionally influenced by their opinions!
5. Improve
There is always something you can improve. We are evolving beings. Don’t make the mistake of staying stuck in old thought patterns, wrong habits or disempowering character flaws. Study yourself, examine yourself and if you find something you don’t like, correct it.
If there is something you would like to know how to do, learn it!
It’s not true that we are made this way.
We are what we choose to be.
♥
“Fall in love with yourself, with life and then with whoever you want”
Frida Kahlo
